Now going directly to the point of this journal in matter, I am going to try to clarify some of the reasons for the above recently mentioned and I am going to be as honest as possible. During the last 2 or 3 years I have been growing economically, and raising positions in big companies as a front end developer and web designer, and had to travel long distances to reach the office in a very uncomfortable crowded subway which left me with very little time for studying and painting. At the begging it felt great, it was good, I was ok with it, but eventually things turned up to be like anything I have ever expected. I started to feel more and more sick every month; 3 bronchitis, flu, Pharyngitis and pneumonia were some of the diseases I had all in just about 6 months.
Recently I assumed a great position in my new company and the situation went from bad to worse, as if my body was actually begging me to stop doing something, I started to faint and feel sick reaching the point of having a stroke risk which implied that I may die If I continue like this. At this point I had to drop art and university(which was everything I loved in this life) and just concentrate on my job, simply because my mind was burned out from all the things I was doing. I was hospitalized several times, run through several tests, and they found nothing, anything at all. Stress was their explanation. Just stress...
So...I started to question my life in many aspects like money, happiness, love, work, art... and figured out after many days of thinking that this situation was not what I wanted. I started to ask many people how they face these situations, or if they even experienced them at all. Well... as a result of my kind of desperate survey for intelligent answers, every single person I talked to about this said: "yes...but you just have to deal with it"
It was the most depressing thing I have ever heard, people live their lives hating their jobs, feeling sick because of it, loosing target on their dreams and achievements in life (if they actually have some) at the cost of buying things things they don't really need, to impress people they don't really know, to feel happy about it. But every one knows money doesn't buy happiness, it sure gives the illusion, but it really doesn't.
So why bothering doing all this...
There were friends that supported me and endless messages from a couple of popular videos like this one from Alan Watts: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rApGnn…
that told me to "just do what you want", and this was kind of new to me. It was strange. It was scary. Aren't we supposed to all do the same thing?, aren't we supposed to go to an office stare at our screen for 9 hours straight and return back home to sleep and do the same the day after?, Wasn't this what everyone teach us in school?, that we have to live like that for the rest of our lives...?
Well, I fortunately made my choice, and I choose to live doing what I love to doing. Which is art.
And I refuse to follow the same path everyone is following just to get a couple more bucks on their pockets.
I don't know how much time I could live from art, but its worth trying, it definitely is.
I know I should keep this journal with professionalism and giving you super awesome news, but I guessed you guys should know this, that I'm just a human being like everyone else. Perhaps some of you experienced or are going through the same situation, and you find some answers on this journal. I will love to hear your story if so...
Thank you for reading
I have to say; I respected you for the amazing art you made already. But what I even came to respect more is your attitude. That even despite the hard times you've been through, you came here to share this with people. That you make choices in life because what you love, and not because the path others set for you.
I've been through a similar situation a few years back. I was also chasing a career in the web industry and fell terribly ill to the point even the doctors gave up on me, only to get to the conclusion that there's more in life than just money. Nowadays I still work in the web industry (I've always liked the web to start with) but I'm not working 60+ hours a week anymore, as my body just couldn't handle the pressure. And despite many people telling me that I wasted my chances for a great career, I'm more happy with my life now than I was back then. My grandma used to say that when one door closes in life, another one opens, and I think that's kinda true. That even despite that some things don't work out in life, that there are plenty of other possibility's, and that you should never be satisfied being deeply unhappy because you're too afraid to chase your dreams.
Its great to know that there are people like you who understant these kind of situations and that they are also trying to pursue their dreams in life.
Oh and I love your pencil works so I am watching you now
A mi me paso algo parecido, pero nunca llegue a este extremo de stress. Me tiré a la pileta justo a tiempo, fui por lo que quería en realidad y tuve la suerte que no me juzgaron por eso (viste que a veces a la familia de uno le cuesta entender y eso a uno le jode) hoy por hoy no me va mal como historietista.
Hiciste bien, a veces cuesta al principio pero te vas a sentir bien con vos mismo... Abrazo
A lot of life is about just going through the motions and dealing with it, as others have told you. It is depressing, in a way - a bit strange too, that so many accept it with face value.
Heard from someone that there's a life of meaning and a life of happiness, but you can't have both. However, you certainly *can* have a life without either.
I'm glad you've made a good choice ^_^
Money is a means to an end and I think that's often forgotten.
Beyond the basic needs, it's more important that you focus on enjoying your life. Else you spend all your time working towards something you want, rather than actually spending your time doing what you like. If you can find what you like to do in life, it's more important you try to make that work rather than to do what pays well and you don't like. And if you can't do what you like or can't earn enough money with it, it's at least worth it to try and find something that allows you to keep at it or focus on it further down the road.
This is something I realized for myself a while ago as well and I'm now working to finish a study so I can hopefully earn a living doing what I like.
Good luck in pursuing your goals
The greatest part of the day is the four hours of free time I get when I come home from my job (that I hate), to work on my own projects and my own visions... far ahead of everything I've to do on work and far away from being paid good.
I mean... I got several awards and my work is published in magazines and books (I guess yours too) but that is nothing more than prestige...... It's good for my art-ego, but doesn't pay well (maybe it will some day)
Take care! Health is the highest priority anyway.
I'm working 9 hours in an office doing I job that I don't really love and when I return home I try to become better in painting digitally. And someday -hopefully before I burn out- I will reach that goal where I can live only with that.
But I'm far from being as great as you in art, so I don't know if I ever will be good enough to live from art... It's so very tiring doing both ...
Yo sé, y cabe aclarar que no hay duda en mi mente, que vas a triunfar en el arte. Sos un excelente ilustrador y artista en general, así que a darle para adelante que vas a poder ♥~ un abrazo gigante y espero que no te vuelvas a enfermar ;^; *se va a su cueva*
0_o, holy crap, I'd hate to be in that position. But that's what happens when you work too much. Not too long ago there was someone who died at a Bank of America because he worked for three days straight with no breaks or rests (this actually happened about a week and a half ago).
Besides, you can't just "deal with it" when something like that happens. Honestly, dropping the art and university I think was a smart decision on your part, unfortunate that it was that you loved both of those so much. It really is better to just simply slow down a lot and do what you need to do without practically killing yourself in the process. At least your feeling better now and that's all that matters.
and don't beat you down like this , because you're sharing your life with unknown person on a website who promote works ... Personnaly i'm glad you share me your thought about that, I'm touched too and I'm really happy you choosen your path.
Keep going and don't loose trust on you.
btw if you want to talk ...
But it's scary, It's like walking a tightrope in a circus with no net. But the alternative, is to be unhappy and unhealthy and a shortened life.
If what you love is art, make art, and target companies that will pay you to do what you love! It is definitely possible, especially with your dedication. Life will always have a little stress, but if you used to have so much stress that it was making you SICK...heaven's sakes, that's no way to live! I'm cheering for you.
Fight for your dream, just be wise about it.
That was one of the best and most honest journals I've read ever.
And I'm more than happy that you decided to do not what will give you money and other material stuff, but rather what you love and what's close to your heart.
It takes a lot of courage to stand against trends these days and just do what your heart tells you to.
I'm really happy for you, and I wish you much luck with accomplishing your life!